as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
