lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
