and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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