Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I can't turn off my feet"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
