First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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