You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
