I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Sober January is a disaster.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
