I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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