well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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