I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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