Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
