a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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