Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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