You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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