cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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