its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
