if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize