At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
