I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
