When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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