Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm jealous of your bromance
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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