Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
