***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
