guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
