I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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