Barsexuality is the new black.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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