So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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