My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
