Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
