Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
