Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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