Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
