return my video game
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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