Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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