this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I touched a dick in church today
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