This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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