we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
