If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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