for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
