My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
