I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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