The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
