did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
