So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
