I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
