So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
