You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
