were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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