I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
