I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
