Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Houston, we have a squirter
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
